Author: Rafi Michael
Marriage is the auspicious occasion which demand gathering. The marriage demands celebration and community feast accompanied with lots of thrills.
Afghan marriage is generally accustomed with the traditions and rituals which have been the part of the ancient culture. Though different tribes are accustomed with the somewhat different rituals, but laws remain same throughout the nation.
In Afghanistan, marriage is a much celebrated event where the entire atmosphere hives with activity.
Marriage between the first cousins is a common practice. When the girl attains the age of ten, search for a prospective groom is initiated by the women folk. Mother and aunts meet the female friends to consult various prospective candidates.
The status of the guy, his background and his looks are considered before deciding the issue. The choice is then presented before the men folk and they take necessary inquires before finalizing the alliance. Once everything is found suitable, the pre-wedding ceremonies are performed to give a public approval of the things.
Actual marriage generally takes place when girl attains the age of sixteen.
According to the local tradition, every marriage requires two exchanges. A dowry is brought by the bride to the husband's house. It generally constitutes household items which the couple will need for their future life together.
On the other side, 'mahr' which is the price for the girl is paid by the groom. It generally consists of livestock, property and money.
Wedding day is the day of great activity for the family. Gathering of friends and relatives is held to compliment the couple and their families. Whole environment presents a festive look.
Special dishes are prepared which include kababs grilled on skewers, nan which is Afghan bread in flat and oval shaped, stewed vegetables and rice cooked with meat.
In the evening, women sit inside the courtyard. The men sit in 'hujara', which is a large room with Afghan carpets and cushions. Hujara is place where men sit. In Afghanistan and other traditional Islamic cultures, it is customary to have men and women separated at social events.
Every arrangement for the comforts of the guests is done. In the evening, a feast is organized. As is dictated by the Pushtun tradition of hospitability, the hosts will not eat until after the guests have had their fill.
In the end, music is played to mark the atmosphere with gaiety and excitement.
The Afghan laws govern the marriages. A Muslim man can marry a non Muslim woman but a non Muslim woman cannot marry a Muslim man.
When a Muslim man wants to marry a foreign woman who is non-Muslim and the woman is not "kitabi" that is of the book, she must first convert to Islam. In either case, the court will only register the marriage religiously, with the "nekah ceremony". When both the parties are Muslim, the Family Court will register the marriage and perform the Muslim "nekah"ceremony. The "nekah"is comprised of the "igaba wa qabul" which is an acceptance agreement and the "khotba".
In case of both non-Muslim foreigners, the court will register the marriage by performing solely the "igaba wa qabul" or acceptance agreement. The court will also seek to apply the regulations which govern marriages in the couples' home country. Though Afghan law permits polygamy but American men will not be allowed to marry multiple women.
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