A relationship without open communication will inevitably give way to deception. There is no grey area. It is better to hurt another with open communication than to betray with deception. You will find that even the act of open communication prevents deeds that would normally be performed under the veil of dishonesty.
A relationship is a gentle lowering of individuality or Ego. A free flow of ideas, perceptions even insecurities should come to the surface and be discussed. In the ideal environment, no taboo or perceived craziness is outside the limit of open discussion. All taboos are society's programming anyway- which is far from open at the present time. Even governments and companies have not recognized the power of open communication with their people.
To suddenly start being open after a long period of hiding is far more difficult than being open on a regular basis. But inevitably this line has to be crossed, and accepted. An environment suitable for revealing all is the first stage of open communication. Both parties must be willing to hear anything and refrain from allowing their Ego to jump into the fray; to judge, feel hurt or angry.
Next comes regularity. At first the impulse to be dishonest "in order to protect someone" will be strong. This is the first stage of dishonesty that is justified has being beneficial to the other person. Slowly this nurtures roots of deeper deception. If the root is cut while it is young and even little white lies are absorbed by the light of open communication - no lie can ever grow.
Does this mean one can share all thoughts, all ideas, or beliefs with anyone? It should. For now you'd get locked up or thrown into an institution as a madman. But there will come a time when society's contract with dishonesty and illusion gives way to a deeper understanding of open communication. In the meantime there can be a selective agreement of open communication between a single couple, a single family, a single company and it's employees, between a single government and it's people before finally the whole world accepts the idea as norm.
Everyone may not like the idea at first, preferring to hang on to the perceived power that comes through lying. It is they who will prefer to go to war when the truth has been set free. Granted, there is a fine line between loose lips that sink ships and open communication in the spirit of greater love between two enlightened individuals. Open communication does not mean running the mouth like a loose cannon. It means selectively choosing your words in a way that will bring about greater harmony between yourself and another party. And avoiding the acts that would disrupt that harmony whenever possible. And in the rare cases where a controversial decision must be made in haste and a decision was made in error, it can quickly be discussed, accepted and learned from.
Most great tragedies begin with a small deception that gets cultivated over time. If you can learn to be open even when on the surface it appears that it will not serve you, over time you become the person that can always be depended on for the truth. And because the truth is a power sought from the depths of every Soul- anyone who possesses it will hold a position of great power. Respected, admired and even revered for their sincerity, and openness even in times when the truth is unpopular and their name risks being tarnished- they rise above the primitive contract of society and peer into a new world waiting on the horizon.
From:
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James Rick Stinson 23 year old author of Garden of Life, avid meditator and personal development coach. A young entrepreneur currently running a business overseas in the Philippines. For more- www.jamesrick.com/blog