News circulating from the disgruntled Ducati camp is that their Antipodion griper Casey Stoner had asked for a 'dossier of employees' so that he could build up a case to why he hated each and every one them.
"He's taken personal complaining to a whole new stratosphere' admitted one greasy Ducati member "Stoner asked for personal details on all our backgrounds so he could single out how and why we'd each want him to fail. He needn't have bothered though as we all hate him for the exact same the reason - he's a whiney little weasel-faced ship-jumper."
So far this season Casey has managed to blame every single member of the Ducati team for his failures claiming that they weren't trying hard enough to make him look great. Stoner's crowning achievement came at Brno when he completed his blame-a-thon by claiming that Paolo, the man Ducati sporadically hire to de-crust the inside of the staff toilets, had a funny limp* that put him off and cased the front end of his bike to continually wash out.
Since completing his quest to blame all members of Ducati the Australian complainer has been forced look further a field for his performance accusations. Not only has he blamed every MotoGP rider for riding too hard and fast but has also accused the sun of being too bright and causing his unsightly facial mole to itch and Hephaestus, the crippled god of fire, of having an off-putting name that's too hard to spell.
"We won't be too sorry to see the moaning little bastard go" concluded out mystery oil-baked employee "I just can't wait to hear him sulk that Japanese HRC team have 'off putting eyes'. That should go down brilliantly."
Source: http://www.motogpnews.com