Hang on, I've hardly had time to write the race review of Italy yet and it's all kicking off again. But there's just no time to waste as faster than Anthony West in a parallel universe the next round is upon us.
From one set of greasy bastards to another we head over to sunny Spain where the bull is in full swing and the vegetarians slaughtered. PETA: Your feeble powers are useless here.
The circuit of Catalunya is Dani Pedrosa's favourite. But that's because it is like him – technically brilliant but utterly dull. Thanks to a layout that is as inspiring as Raikkonen pep-talk there have been some classically unclassic MotoGP races here over the years. But if you want really, really dull then you need to step it up a notch and suffer some of the hideous Catalunya F1 races over the years – the highlights of every single one could be amply saved in high resolution onto 2mb SD card.
Last time out in Italy we had an Italian whitewash. Carbonara sauce everywhere. The Italians loved it more than their mothers but can the Spanish, oily gits that that are, turn the tables this weekend and produce a homegrown meat-eating victor?
Out to stop such an event has to be Valentino Rossi. And not since MotoGP's cross-dressing championship ended has Rossi ever been on such a successful roll with three consecutive wins and heading the championship like a rancid yellow beacon of success.
Spain needs to dig deep if they're to pull themselves out of this hole. And, as we all know, they have two strong candidates to do so.
Speaking of holes let's first talk of Dani Pedrosa – a rider who'd get lost in a divot. Thumbelina is very fast but boring – but we all know that.
Then there's King Midas Lorenzo – he's fast and loony but, again, we all know that.
In fact we already really know a shit load about the season and all the signs are pointing with their ingrown fingernails that it will only be slightly better than last season's borefest.
But thankfully we don't yet know everything. For example will what Denning's doing behind our backs ever be documented? And what of the rumours that Herve 'smooth frog' Poncharal and the BBC front woman?
But more significantly will the mighty HRC use the pneumatically valved engine this time out? Every single manufacturer in MotoGP has now an engine with pneumatic valves banging away inside. Even Kawasaki – and they can't even correctly fit a chain to the bike yet.
Why? Well the evil empire never want to lose face – except Pedrosa's – and nothing dishonours their noodles more than an on-track mechanical failure. So despite having a pneumatic engine that's ready to go poor Tady Okada has been ordered to ride it for (to quote HRC themselves) 'as far as all beansprouts in Japan placed honourably end-to-end'. That's a long way.
One man who'll be desperately hoping to get his eleven or so fingers on the new engine is the outgoing HRC rider Nicky 'I was champion once – look it up if you don't believe me' Hayden. The portly American desperately needs more power to push his corpulent frame through the air as he's physically unable to tuck in behind the fairing designed for Pedrosa…which is fair enough as a hunchbacked mouse wouldn't either.
It's no secret that Hayden won't be with Repsol Honda next season and Earl's smugness looks set to plummet unless his boy lands a decent ride. And to get a decent ride he needs some decent rides.
What was I going on about? Oh yeah there's a race this weekend – I'd tape it so you can forward wind the boring parts.